Sunday, February 20, 2011

No Mostrar Afecto en Público. Por Favor!

I have a life rule.

That is to say, I have many, but this one in particular stands out as being especially important. You may want to gear up for this...

Because my rule is so radical that those who know me best think I'm insane. My family. A very dear friend of mine. Her now very astonished family. And God. ;) Were I ever elected Queen of the Universe this would be the first statute I'd sign into law--before tackling health care, the economy, global unrest, education, etc.

Ahem, ahem, ahem!

I would make it ILLEGAL to have public displays of affection EXCEPT on television where I believe the maximum age limit should be set to thirty-five.  

There, I've said it. Notice I also underlined the word "public." Now, remaining perfectly calm, I shall proceed to relate to you why I think this should be so. (Here, Molls: your shot at the candid truth! lol)

Let us first examine the the purpose behind PDA's? There are only two. You do it 1) to indicate to your Romeo/Juliet that you find him/her extremely handsome/beautiful and that you're so glad to hang on his/her arm and talk his/her ear off over the Starbucks you've decided to split...or 2) to clue everyone else in on the profound happiness you are internally experiencing at that moment.

I'll work backwards.

In the first case [which is actually the second :)], passerby's don't necessarily care whether you're happy or not. They're just minding their own business, hurrying in and out of JCPenny or Walmart or wherever else they're going, bent on a plan of action, and now to add to their already heightened stress level, they have to witness a random PDA! Remember, they weren't exactly privy to the dizzying tumult of emotions which preceded beforehand!

Let's just stick with the ol' song, shall we? "If you're happy and YOU know it, clap your hands!"
Stomp your feet!
Shout "amen!"

You're happy. He/She's happy. You both know it. And everyone else around you can enjoy their day without having to stop, watch, and wait for your romantic, Kodak moment.    

Secondly, if you really, truly want to show your dream-boat you're happy and don't care what "other people think," show him/her IN PRIVATE! After all, it's him/her to whom you're trying to convey your feelings. At least pull 'im/her behind a tree, for crying out loud! And if there are none around, wait until there is one. Then you can embrace and whisper sweet-nothings in his/her ear without having to worry about anyone eavesdropping.

Okay, so I've stated my reasons. Now let us move into the next part of my argument: why are PDA's disturbing?

Because they're public.

If God had intended men and women to publicly lovey-dovey on each other, He wouldn't have allowed mankind to write the song, "Be careful little eyes what you see!"

It just wouldn't have happened. I know. The fine print of my Bible told me. :)

As to TV...

The purpose of TV is to entertain. Right? Of course, right! Now how entertaining is it to see two old people DA publicly? *screws face* I'm not saying that young people should have free access either, but there is a world of difference between the romance of Sophie and Dr. Harrison and Miss Matty and Mr. Holbrook.

Doesn't cut quite the same picture, does it?...DOES IT, MOLLS?

Thirdly, I believe the entire world should cater to the fact that I am a very private person! That's why I have a blog! :) Seriously though. If we live in a generation that's so "politically correct" and bends over backwards to keep from offending others, well then I'm jumping on this band wagon. I'm demanding my rights as an American citizen who pays taxes on time! who is concerned about the welfare of our children, and their children, and their children's children! Just what kind of social standard are we are promoting here?

I don't care if you're married or not, there are conventions to be met and adhered to! For the betterment of the world, society in general, and my overall mental health!

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Happy Sunday! ;)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sorry love, but this is one I can't agree with and it's doubtful if your husband will either :)

I think you need an attitude of "Fa-la-la-la-just-kiss-the-girl!" (Little Mermaid).

Point being "Hide It Under A Bushel, NO!" Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!"

Mom :)