Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Alarm Clock.

So I'm sitting at my desk yawning my head off. I've been up for 12 hours, and it's only 5:15pm. :(

I started a new resolution as of last week. My goal is to wake up at 5am M-W-F and 6am Tues/Thurs in order to work out and do devos before school. Needless to say I'm beginning rather sluggishly. I'm so not a morning person. AT ALL!! And it's so hard for me to function at that ungodly hour. No pun intended. Ok, maybe a little bit. :P

This morning really proved my lack of mental discipline. Took me a whole 13 minutes to gather the will power to get out of bed. *yawn* Anyway. I was this close to throwing my alarm clock out the window!!! 

Whatever. This afternoon I came home from work to find a piece of paper sitting on my nightstand. I don't know where it came from (and nobody's around to ask), but it's something I wrote in my 6th grade English class. As it pertains to how I feel at this moment, I thought I'd share it. :)

My Alarm Clock: The Anti-Sleep Nuisance

"If I could name one of the things I despise the most in this world, it would be my alarm clock. The little buzzer which reminds me daily at promptly 6:00 sharp that I have to do school, teach piano, wash dirty dishes, and do chores. If ever there was a depressing subject it is that of the alarm clock, Who wants to be awakened from a deep sleep, throw back the warm, soft covers and walk across the cold floor to turn off that annoying sound? And what happens more often than it should, you then have to walk back across the cold floor in order to steal a few more precious minutes in bed  and suddenly it dawns on you that today you have your finals, or a big project that's due, or that bratty little boy across the street that you're babysitting is going to give you another black eye. And then you lie in bed nervously biting your lip worrying over the matter. Can you see now why that disgusting, puny little clock can cause such big problems? No wonder there is such a large number of the population that struggles with anxiety?

Now, on a positive note, if it is summer and the next day you are going to a wonderful place such as Disney Land and you must wake up at 6 a.m., then the alarm clock suddenly becomes a treasured possession which saved you from the possibility of waking up late and missing that day of glorious fun. It's all in the way you look at it, I guess. Therefore, my conclusion is this: that depending on what you are doing the next day, decides whether the alarm clock is friend or foe. If it is a friend, treat it with care, if not, do everything in your power to convince your parents it doesn't work!" 

Not bad for a 13 year old, though I do say it myself! Amazing how the sentiment still rings true all these years later! Literally. :D

Think about that when you set your alarms tonight. lol

Blessings,
  

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Ridiculous Risk

Today Nick and I helped Joe shoot a movie short for a AAA film competition. Our purpose: to show the dangers of texting and driving. Joe was our principal actor. Unfortunately, as he does not yet have his driving permit, Nick and I were required to push the car in neutral! It was pretty hilarious, the two of us huffing and puffing to move this giant vehicle. I'm sure I've never looked so ridiculous in my life. Poor Joe felt so guilty that he could barely act. We kept telling him not to waste our energy with a bad performance. :) lol Oh, the joys of working on a nonexistent budget. My only comfort was in the knowledge that everyone has to start somewhere. Even if it means manually pushing cars and using pillows for airbags.

Big dreams are only accomplished by baby steps. The menial, the mundane, it all works together to further a larger goal. You don't become valedictorian without first putting in four years of constant studying. You don't win the girl unless you first ask her to dance. And you certainly don't change things without first making the effort. Of course, even if you do play by the rules, there's no guarantee you'll win. Everything is a risk. There's a great potential for success and sometimes, I think, an even greater potential for failure. But are we willing to chance it anyway? To risk the rejection, the heartbreak, looking ridiculous in front of others. Let me tell you something, I felt pretty stupid this afternoon. Until I realized that I was thinking in immediate terms...not seeing the bigger picture. Joe may not have the right film equipment, the best cameras, or a fancy trailer to tow a car. But he has the right attitude and is willing to work with whatever he has.
I once heard the work of God described as "a gentle drizzle," accomplished one drip at a time. In the same manner, I feel as though Life is lived not in storms, but by a trickle of events that stalagmite into monumental super structures! I would encourage you, and remind myself, to "never despise meager beginnings" (Love's Enduring Promise). Because I know a God who can take the faith of a child and use it to move mountains! Unlike the wicked servant in Matthew 25, let us not bury our talents in the ground for fear of loosing them altogether; rather, let us risk them in the greatest venture of all...

Because is there anything too ridiculous that the Lord cannot use it for His glory?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

What I'm Thankful For

So many things this year, but just to name a few:
  • Mia and the upcoming anniversary of her adoption
  • My new job
  • My trip to Europe and China
  • The lessons I've learned this past summer and how the Lord used a painful experience to mature my walk with Him
  • The support and prayers of my parents and my best friend during that time
  • My dad, who works so hard and is always ready to listen to his sweetpea's tales of woe! :P
  • My mom, who has possibly the wisest counsel and always knows how to make me laugh!
  • Joe, who I can always count on for a hug and great conversations
  • Nick, who sharpens my wit with his sarcasm and lights up my day with his smile
  • My new college and the classes I've taken this semester
  • The S. family
  • M. and her new baby
  • The opportunity to swim again
  • BBC movies--always the perfect remedy for a stressful day! 
May your holiday be blessed and filled to overflowing with His joy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Thoughts...

So I'm sitting on my bed this afternoon wondering what I should do with my life. Or, rather, wondering what God wants me to do. I keep praying, "Lord show me something that is purpose-filled. Give me an arena where I can use my writing and my voice to glorify YOU!"

As I look at the world around me, I find myself wishing for a platform to express my opinions. The thought then occurred to me--I'm standing on it. Right here. Right now. This blog. It's my opportunity to share, on a larger scale, the issues about which I'm passionate, the subject matters that provoke me to sit down and type.
Life isn't about me. It's about engaging world around me and viewing it in the light of Scripture. People need people, much as we're becoming a virtual society. So often I find myself aching to have conversations that extend beyond the day-to-day grind. I want to sit down and have a lengthy discourse about a selection of literature I just read or a news story spin that made my blood boil! I want to talk about the struggles that Christians girls face but aren't willing to share aloud. If anyone will listen, I want to use this blog as that outlet.
Friend or stranger that you are, if you are tuning in to this blog, it means you have voluntarily subjected yourself to be my audience. And the nice part is that I don't have to know how long I held your interest. :) Actually, that's not true, I have SiteMeter. ;) But I suppose I could neglect to know if I really wanted to leave my ego intact. ;)
I guess my overall point is, don't be surprised if the tone of this blog turns very controversial. I will continue to post about the mundane, the trivial, and the ridiculous. But I'm also going to use technology to my advantage. I know when I have an opinion and, believe me, when it comes to most things, I'm not afraid to share it.
Some people are of the perspective that "silence is golden." That's great. So we can all be a bunch of non-communal gold statues who know nothing about each other or what we're thinking! That philosophy is not in my line.
I'm energetic. I'm enthusiastic. I'm me. And the older I get, the more I realize how much "Me" has to say! ;)
After all, my nick-name isn't "Talia Tell-ya" for nothing! lol
Anyway, I didn't mean to start monologuing just yet. ;) Comes naturally, I suppose. Oh, and just for the record (because somebody informed me that despite being and English major I use horrible grammar and punctuation on this blog), there is a big difference between formal and informal writing. Here I write as I speak and as I feel. I don't have time to go over and check thoroughly for spelling and punctuation errors. Believe me, if this was a school assignment, my adherence to the technical laws of English would be impeccable. But thank goodness it's not! ;) I've got enough of that to deal with Monday through Friday. ;)
And speaking of which...I'm already on the heels of tomorrow. ;)
Hope you guys had a wonderful weekend.
Nighty-night!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'm NOT Crazy After All!

Actually, yes I am. But we'll just sweep that factoid under the rug for now.

I discovered something about myself today which I feel the need to share. Because it explains everything--or at least a very great part--of my genius! In case you haven't read any of my back posts, I'll give you a brief summation of what my genius entails:

Basically, anything and everything that makes me anti-normal! :D For example, the fact that I HATE public displays of affection, happy endings to stories or movies, and all manner of other societal norms which ought not to be tolerated! Read these posts for more thorough explanation...



My friend, I suffer from catharsis. Yes, you read that right. It was a term used by Aristotle to describe the effects of tragic drama. I learned all about it from my Literature textbook this afternoon. I quote:
"In Aristotle's view, tragedy arouses the powerful emotions of pity and fear, and, through experience of the drama, brings about a "proper purgation" or purification of these emotions. Originally, the word catharsis was a medical term, and therefore many interpreters argue that tragedy produces a therapeutic effect through an actual purging or "vomiting" of emotions--a sympathetic release of feelings that produces emotional relief and encourages psychological health. In other words, tragedy heals." 

Need I say more? :)

I suddenly find myself strangely un-apologetic. All this time I've thought my suppositions were without rhyme or reason. Now I discover that they are merely a form of self-preservation. I'm working my own therapy you guys...and I don't even have a degree! ;)

Laughing out loud (because I'm only half-serious LOL),

Friday, November 11, 2011

"I Made This For YOU!!!!!"

So apparently, I'm way behind on the times...but a friend of my brothers just introduced us to a guy named Julian Smith?

I know, I know. I live under a rock...and I need to get out more often...and yes, I was homeschooled. ;) But anyway. In light of the fact that I spent an hour watching Julian's videos when I should have been doing my homework (*cough* actually I was on "break" lol), I thought I'd post something 100% reflective of what I go through on a daily basis.
Watch the video. And then, my friend, determine whether or not you understand me a little better. ;)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Are You There?

So I don't know why I'm on a singing theme, but I figure since I'm on a roll, I might as well continue...lol

Just got back from running some errands. I don't know about you, but I love being alone in the car! There's something so therapeutic about driving 45 mph with the sun streaming into your eyes and the dusky wind whistling over your windshield (how's that for alliteration, Carreen? :P). I usually take advantage of these opportunities to sing. :P Ahem. That is, practice using my diaphragm. ;P lol I'm sure the people next to me at the stoplight think I'm totally crazy, but hey--it's not like they can hear me. I hope. :)

Anyway, as I was driving to and from the grocery store, I had that Jackson 5 song playing in my head like a broken record. "You and I, must make a pact...We must bring salvation back....Just call my name, and I'll be there...." 

Those lyrics brought me back to earlier in the afternoon, when I met a friend of mine for coffee. *sighs* Isn't it amazing how fellowship with another believer leaves you feeling so...encouraged? Exhilarated? Confident that the thing you're going through will come out all right in the end? Why is it that we don't share with people what's really going on in our lives? Why are we so adamant about putting up barriers to keep people out?

Let me tell you something, it took 18 years for me to learn to trust friends and even family members with my feelings. To be vulnerable enough to say: "Hey, this is what's going on in my life right now, and it really hurts. Can you pray for me?" I wish I had learned this lesson earlier. How much pain and internal anguish I might have saved myself! And how good it is to hear that you're not the only one!

You're not the only one who's going through a tough relationship.
You're not the only who doesn't know what to say to that guy that likes you, but won't take the hint.
You're not the only one to cry into your pillow at night.
To think about curling up into a little ball and refusing to start another day.
You're not the only one to look in the mirror and shake your head at the image you find there.

It's real. It's normal. It's life. And honestly, I don't think God intended for us to live it alone. Bear one another's burdens. That can be such a tall order. Who wants to admit they don't have it "all together?"

Some people live under the delusion that acknowledging one's feelings is a sign of weakness. For me, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Because at the end of the day, it means taking off the mask and letting people see who I truly am. And it may not always be pretty. But what a blessing to have people who love you anyway! Who are there to see you--you--with all your imperfections and flaw and vulnerabilities! Who are "there" when you call their name! There to comfort you..."to fill your heart with joy and laughter."

I think all of us need to stop and look around at the people whom God has created to be HIS love with skin on. And if you're one of those people, ask yourself: are you there for the brother or sister in Christ who may just need an ear to listen...or a shoulder to cry on...a hug...a smile...a thumbs up. Something to say, "We're all in this together. Keep pressing forward. Finish your race, and I'll be running right there beside you."

Don't let pride keep you from experiencing all of God's blessings. Be that someone to make a rainy day smile!

Happy Saturday!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Live Like You Were Dyin'

I'm one of those people who can't run without music. It's just an oddity of mine. I need something upbeat to keep my mind off the pain! :) But anyhow. As I was pumping iron this afternoon, the thought came to me that English majors have to rebel every once in a while! I'd been cramming my head full of literary devices and terms in preperation for my midterms next week. So I happily ditched Michael Buble for a much-needed country splurge . :) Now I'm not a huge fan of Tim McGraw, but one of his songs had such inspirational lyrics that I just had to share it with y'all.

The song talks about a man who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and what he would do with the time he had left. This is what he says:

I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

What would it be like to live like we were dying? How would we change? What would we do differently? The idea really got me thinking. Do I treat the people in my life as if I was never going to see them again? What kind of friend am I? What kind of sister or daughter? What kind of Christian? When people are around me, do they feel encouraged or discouraged? Loved or rejected? Am I really fulfilling my life's purpose? Am I doing all that I was put on this planet to accomplish?

So often I think we take life for granted. It's good times, it's hardships, the ups and downs, circular patterns, and clear-cut adventures! I know for me, I tend to get bogged down in the complexity of the future, trying to work everything out before it happens. lol What would it look like if I just took one moment at a time. Every day. Without worrying about the next week. What if I invested in people the way Christ has invested in me? Served as He served. Loved as He loved. Wouldn't that be the empitome of a fulfilled life? Being God's hands and feet to the people in my sphere of influence?

Take a moment and really think...what would you do if, starting tonight, you had only 6 months left to live? What long lost friend would you call up and invite to coffee? How much time would you spend in the Word? On facebook?  Playing games with your siblings? How would you begin to view your time in rush hour traffic? Is it a waste? Or an oppotunity to pray?

For me, there are some people in my past that require an apology. Many to whom I need to extend forgiveness. Dozens who need to know just how much I love them!

Don't let today bereave you of tomorrow's joys and sorrows. Embrace them! Cherish them! And know that pain and suffering exist that we may know the beauty of joy and laughter! Just like love is precious because we know what it is to hate.

I hope that we may become people who live our lives to God's fullest. Not wild and recklessly, but purposefully; that at the end of our lives we may look back and say, "I lived each and every day to the same extent as if I were dying."

Let this thought be our motivation as we tackle the upcoming weekend!

Love and blessings to all,