"I used to hate you growing up."
This was the confession of a very dear friend of mine one Thanksgiving. "Um, why?" I asked in astonishment.
"Because you were so perfect." She then preceded to list all the things that irked her when we were younger. How my dress (yes, I was into dresses at that time) was always clean, while her basket ball shorts were stained with mustard, how I always knew the answer to every question (yeah right!), my obsession with the color pink, etc., the attention her grandparents gave me, my musical inclination etc. We laugh about it now, but at the time, I was utterly shocked. [I'll have you know that my friend has since found her feminine side, though she continues to be an athlete and an academic! :)[
Turns out she was not the only one who hated me growing up. Over the years, I have discovered a long string of people who disliked me for one thing or another. And while I have always known that I am the least perfect person on the planet and can never live up to my own standards, the fact remains: most people don't know the Talia they see.
So I wanted to take this time to check in with reality...just in case there's some of you out there still hating me. ;) And what better way to do that than through embarrassing moments. :)
I've had a lot of such moments this week. Good reminders to be humble.
Let's just start with the obvious. It all began last week when I woke up with a spider bite on my face. Now, I'm not at all stranger to bug bites or even mosquito bites. But spider bites? I've never had one of those before. To be honest, I have no idea what "the thing" was. I'm only thinking it was a spider because of how HUGE this it was. I'm not talking one of those things that swells up and disappears in a day or two. I'm talking a MONSTROUS, raised, Rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer kind of red growth that itched and peeled for a week. And, of course, it just so happened that that week was jam-packed full of social events. Not to mention a 25+ hour work week. Let's just say, my bathroom mirror became my worst enemy overnight--more so than usual. ;) I don't think I've ever felt so disgusted with myself. EVER. ;) But I think my vanity is presently the size of a shriveled pea. lol
(That's right, Spiderman, hang your head in shame!)
Then yesterday at work I had the most disastrous encounter with some guests. The restaurant got busy, so I volunteered to take a few tables. Things were going fine, until it hit 4:00pm. Then my brain shut off. And I mean literally shut off. Everything I did from that point on was cursed. Messing up orders, bringing the wrong change, forgetting check presenters, spilling drinks, etc. And all at the same table. *sighs* No, they were not cute guys. lol Just a frumpy, grumpy mom with her two gang-banger kids. I don't know why I felt so disconcerted, but I feel my waitressing skills are all but shot.
Athletically too this has not been the best of weeks. Not have I not worked out, but my volleyball skills decided to vanish the moment I stepped on the court. Which is pretty humiliating when there's fifty-sixty people watching you. I swear every time the ball came near me, I sent it 180 degrees the other way. ;) Of course, no one will ever know the killer serves or sets I made on vacation. Oh, no. ;)
So we've got physical appearance, work competence, athletic ability...let's see, what else...
Oh! Academically. First week of school. Should be a breeze, right? Wrong. Despite my oh-so-confident essays and contributions on the forum, I finished out this week with a B in two assignments. Granted, they were B+s, but for someone who's used to As and A+s, it was definitely a blow to the ego.
All this to say...
People, don't envy me. I don't have it all together...despite what you may think. I'm just a human girl with human failings. I don't say or do the right things. I don't wake up in the morning looking Red carpet ready (ask my family!). And if I do seem too perfect, it's only because I take pains to hide my flaws and blunders as best I can...with God's help and a lot of makeup. ;)
So. That's just a peek into the reality of my life. I don't say it to be pitied or praised, only in the hopes that someone out there needs to hear it. ;)
Blessings on your day!